The Late Depression.

Funny, or odd (depends on which -ist are you: pessimist, optimist, realist, Sunkist) how I just said "Nightz" to one of my closest friends just around fifteen minutes ago. And don't get me wrong, I had every intention to put myself to slumber the moment the message was sent, but not this ultra-powerful and kinda-sensitive-when-it's-been-neglected-for-so-long brain of mine. Blalala, prepare for emo shit.

Besides it being an awesome pun, the title exactly fits what I'm feeling right now. It's as if everything has been put on hold, only to be released at the least opportune time. You know, it's kind of like when you photocopy nude pictures in your office, then suddenly, all the papers got jammed. And just as your boss walks right inside the photocopy room, the machine's all okay and out goes your multitude of black and white pornography. Yes, I just used porn as a metaphor for my emotions. I'm awesome, no need to say it.



Sooooo... I have no idea what to put in now. I don't want to go into detail about everything I'm going through right now. See, I thought that my recent Singapore/Malaysia trip would help clear my mind off things and I'd come back home as if nothing happened, and act as such until somebody notice - or perhaps, even if. But it was a failure. Yes, I was able to have some nice solemn quiet time with my thoughts both at the poolside and on the plane home, and I was almost sure that nothing's bothering me anymore. So sure that I even threw my tissue of tears away already - not that I really used it that much.

I guess it's this sickness (yes, another throat infection) and the fuckery that is this sem's enrolment that's getting me all down and melancholic these days. Beh, I really don't care for rainy days - I like it even more. Just like the fact that for movies, sad yet realistic endings always win me over than happy fairy tale fantasies. (PLUG: You gotta see How To Train Your Dragon as soon as you can.) All I'm saying is that if I was well enough to talk without stopping to swallow spit, and if I had already been assessed yesterday, as planned; these thoughts wouldn't come out right now.

And now it's quarter to 4am.
I am thinking about stuff I should've thought about abroad.
Putangina, sayang pamasahe ko a.


Chill.